Black Water Dragon pew pew pew...

Hi folks,

How's 2012 treating you? good... good.. So, I'm sitting here about to start my Thank You cards for the guests of my wedding and I'm on my 4th envelope (stamping my address) and I have the sudden urge to blog, i.e., procrastinate. It has been a long long time, but i say that in every single post so now i feel lame for saying it. Like, you ALWAYS say that, what the hell is your reason? Who cares about your reason, just get to the point already. wow, internal conflict.

I just wanted to update myself with my life. In December 2012, I got a BFP. I didn't know what a BFP meant until 1 month later, when i started reading all the pregnancy blogs and stories and forums, and i was like wow, I got a Big Freaking Positive!

This is my TTC story, which is pretty boring, but by being boring it means that I am super lucky and am blessed in my journey to have a baby in the mighty year of the dragon!! Mwu-ha-ha-ha?

Back in March or April or June of 2011 (see this is what happens when i don't post!) Well somewhere around there I had to think about if I wanted to come off the good ol' birth control pills. BCP and I have never been friends. I've either been super moody, super tired or super something. I do want to say that i had pretty sizable boobies for an asian and decent skin because of BCP. Anyway, i always knew i wanted a baby (specifically in 2012-mainly because i will be 32 years old and secondly, year of the Dragon) and people always say being on/coming off BCP effects your ovulation cycle. I wanted to get off BCP early just in case my cycle got thrown off into some sort of wack. I talked to a friend who already had a baby, and she told me to get a calendar to track my O and so on and so forth. I was of course worried i might get pregnant before the actual wedding, but there are other forms of protection ;)
So im hummed and haw-ed and talked it over with a friend who was also in a similar situation and decided to get off. I used an iPhone app that tracked my period and then told me what day i would most likely ovulate. I was extremely lucky that my period did not miss a beat and i generally was a 29 day cycle kind of girl.

A couple of months go by and i'm not too stressed out about the TTC duties because i figured i still had time. I actually wanted an October baby, because i like the month of October! So toward the end of November, i feel a little funny, like my pelvic area had a weird dull prickly feeling and i had a weird feeling that i could be pregnant. I mentioned it to my hubby and he was like really? and that was about it. I mean, people generally don't know that they are pregnant unless they took a test OR they missed their period right? In any case.. days went by, i lived life as usual. drank wine, ate pate all that good delicious stuff AND then i had my period symptoms, back aches, crampy and tired. I told my friend that i'm probably going to get my period (she always asks how our baby making is going) and she said noo... they are the same symptoms! Who knew? I didn't.

The weekend i was suppose to get AF, we went to a cabin with a couple of friends up near Skyline. I was being super cautious, so even though i ate hot dogs and pate, i did not drink any alcohol. AND THEN, i did not get my period. AND THEN, the next day, my boobs started hurting like hell. I was leaning over the side of the car to get something in back and leaned against them and i was in pain. So much pain i said OW SHIT. Yes, that much pain. I took a test, one that i've had in my sock drawer from way back when that i bought for like $1.50 and i got the double line thing. I didn't take a picture, i didn't save it i just threw it away and told my husband.

Let me tell you, once you get your BFP, the worrying begins. You worry if your pregnancy will make it pass the first trimester, (lots of miscarriages happen within the first 8 weeks), you worry if you're eating right, you worry if your baby will have xyz disease. It is crazy. Anyway, if you can do the calculation i'm due in August and i'm really hoping to post more about the whole process of it all now that i'm in my 2nd trimester.

Anyway, after ALL of this happens is when i start reading pregnancy posts/blogs and realize how hard people have it while they are TTC-ing. it makes me feel sad that these things don't happen so easily, especially when you hear young kids or people who arent even trying get pregnant! stupid how life works sometimes.

hope to share more later

-h