dyshanhics

"Thank you for calling _______, how may I piss you off today?"

I've done my share of customer service in a call center. I failed at it, not at the actual servicing the customer part, but for the building the rapport version of it. It was a rule, 3-5 minutes per call. Be nice, polite, build rapport, service the customer and leave an everlasting image of my company that we are the best! This of course, knocked heads with my own belief that people are calling in to get shit done and not to make a 3 minute friend/counselor (though some really want to). All my call times? Below 3 minutes. Shit, I was like 2 customer service representatives built in 1. You'd think they'd be happy. I remember when I was just a temp. and I did a withdrawal for this dude within 2 minutes. He was super happy with me. I wish there were more people out there to service ME better... all within less than 3 minutes. Now to think of it, the next time I have to call an 800 number and they ask, "how may I help you today?" I should say, you can start by timing yourself, and if you can't assist me within 3 minutes to pass me along to someone who can.

Better yet, if you cannot verify me within 3 minutes, pass me along to someone who can.

I called Verizon Wireless today.
He asked what he could do to help.
I said I need to talk about my bill.
Then, the guy asked me for my name, address, last 4 digits of ssn, secret password, work number.
After all this crap, he must have forgotten what the call was about because he then continued to ask if I had an email on the account, if I knew I could access my account online and if to dial * something something to update my phone every two months, and if I wanted to put my work number on file.
I said, "listen" (I get this tone of voice from Mr. Man T.) "I already know allllllll this stuff... I just need to talk about my bill alright??"
"oh okay okay okay"
me: ::fuming::

So I said, Look under my 8550 bill, page 20, I'm being charged, for an "in-Verizon" call. Why?
"oh okay let me see, what page?"
"page 20....."
"oh our pages are different, what date?"
"11/7, that's NOVEMBER 7th"
"Okay... where are you getting charged at?"


I had to be silent for awhile count to 3 and backwards and forwards again and threw a piece of paper at my cube mate. Hi Verizon Wireless, I'm a loyal customer, please train your associates to read your OWN bill. Thank you.

"The call from 8165, that's a Verizon number, why am I being charged?"
"Ohh noo the dashes mean you're not being charged, we're just keeping track of the minutes you used."
"What? No, you're not looking at the right bill. Look at 8550 not 8165"
"oh, okay okay okay"

Repeat x3.

Ultimately Daniel said, yeah, I shouldn't have been charged, he has to add up all those minutes (it will take him to 2pm) and call me back.

Of course I'm adding them up myself to make sure.
Of course I don't expect a phone call back and will be calling them at 3.

At least he didn't talk to me about the weather... that's the worse.