Instantly

Over the weekend I found out that my grandfather (on my dad's side) died. First of all, I'd like to rant that I found out through FACEBOOK. My cousin updated her status about "happy times" and then "RIP Grandpa"... i saw it in the morning while i was in bed... and i, for some reason, thought she was talking about her dad's dad which would have no relations to me. Three hours later I looked at the picture she posted and the picture of the grandpa looked familiar. I im'ed my brother and asked.. he confirm.. i was like WTH!
I called my house and talked to my sister who knew that my grandfather wasn't feeling well, but didn't know that he had passed away. My parents were already on their way to the airport - my dad was on his way to Vietnam.
I called my sister so that she didn't have to find out through Facebook like i did. She said she knew... and that she was suppose to call me, but got "sidetracked". $#$)(#)*$?! (#$)(#*???!? WTH!
i was pretty upset!
/end rant

Anyway, you may or may not notice but I am writing this post very matter of factly. Am I upset that my grandfater died? Yes. I am upset, but i am not sad. I am upset because he was my dad's dad and I know that my dad is not taking it too well - how can you take a parent's death well? I am upset because he is family and i'm upset because it is death, but I'm not sad because I didn't know my grandfather at all. I've met him once in my life and we barely said anything to each other. One reason is because my Vietnamese sucks and another is because he was the old typical/traditional Vietnamese male. He wanted food on the table when it was dinner time and what did he have to talk to kids about? Nothing. Even my dad did not communicate with him all that much. So I just wanted to blog that overall - this experience has been really weird for me. For a death to be so close to home, yet so far.

I talked to my mom later on that night to make sure her and my dad were feeling "okay". She rewarded me with a "back-in-the-day" story about life in Vietnam. I LOVE these stories, as it is amazing how much trial and tribulation the family has gone through. I think my parents and my uncles and aunts should share these stories more with the kids so that we don't take things for granted. Instead, we are spoiled U.S. kids, who's parents worked hard to give us clothes and toys and video games while we wonder why life is unfair and have no idea what to do with our lives. Sometimes, when i think of these things, i feel that choice and freedom is just too much for kids to handle. That if we had to actually do what we needed to do to survive like our parents did, it'd be much different. Who cares what we would like to do.. it's about what we have to do to live a life to survive - and then hopefully- we get some sort of reward out of life.