Happy World Vegan Day!! ...Now join my parents' cult!
My parents in the wake of having more time to do things on their own and less time taking care and cooking for their kids have formed a cult. They've reached out to the city's community of friendless? people and meet with them every Thursday night. In the mean time, they've also reached out to the old and gullible Buddhist community at not one but two Buddhist pagodas (every Sunday and Tuesday). What is the purpose of their cult? Tai Chi. That's right. Tai Chi. Oh but no it's not just an exercise for your body and mind... no no not to my parents. Tai Chi apparently is the cure to EVERYTHING.
Of course being the child of cult leaders, I'd be one of the first people they would try to get to join. I think they are trying to get me to join their Tai Chi work outs so that younger people will see me and want to join too. I would be the hip icon that young ones would look up to and peers would want to be. Little did my parents know I am definitely not that icon. I'm the icon the young ones want to pick on (and hit for some apparent reason) and that my peers definitely do not want to be. So I politely declined.
Of course being cult leaders, they can't just ask. They have to give the reason on why I SHOULD join.
Eternal peace with my mind body and soul? Something like that... my mom always shares stories on how my dad had really really really bad allergies during the fall. Since he's done Tai Chi... no more! (Wow) My dad has always had a bigger belly (who doesn't at his age?), ever since he's done Tai Chi... no more! (Wow) (Okay, I really have to wow! at this one, because he really did lose his belly. That man is FIT... but how else would he be able to influence people to follow his cult??) This old lady "that they know" had arthritis problems, but ever since she's done Tai Chi... no more! (Wow) Wait, one more. This fat man that my mom knows told her that he use to be miserable when he went into work and when people tried to talk to him he was mean and sucked... well ever since he started doing Tai Chi... no more! (double wow)
Happiness for fat people?
Health for old people?
No allergies?!
No thanks. Tai Chi doesn't cure my laziness.
However, I am thinking of making a t-shirt for my parent's cult. Anyone have cool cult names that won't get my old Asian parents arrested??
2 comments:
hahaha what kinda entry is this? i knew there was buddhism in your family, but not to this extent ;P
you know what, i don't even know if my parents have any religious beliefs. they never talked to me about it. the only times religion even became a topic was when i used to go to catholic school for four years of my life. that's it. kinda sad, isn't it?
and there ALWAYS seems to be someone who, once they started doing something unusual (from their perspective), it changed their life around 180 degrees. i think those people are exceptions more than anything... you know, those that belong in the 10% bell curve.
hahahha.. your parents are the craziest and coolest people i know. Is that why everyone in the family are pretty much crazy not as much cool as well. =P
If you join now, they will promote you to be one of the leaders, this way you can demand all the followers as your slave. Your dream has come true. Conquer the world!!!! LOL
Do it hanh.. so i can stand aside and laugh my ass off.. hahahha
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